Sunday, March 10, 2013

I'm not sure it's visible from the outside, but I am having some struggles. I have lots of reasons to be thankful, as I usually do: my first birth as an apprentice, a super successful event I'd been planning for months where the press showed up, we had way more folks that anticipated, & lots of momentum continuing to build, RV dreams now becoming a reality again (in just a few short weeks), lots of feeling like I'm doing what I was always meant to.

I have always been a person who stays busy. Lately though, I stay busy because when I have to focus on my million and one obligations, I can at least quiet down my mind. I find it gets the best of me in the car the most. I thought that being off fertility drugs would help, and it might have, but it feels minuscule. I feel like I carry around this huge weight every day. It's been especially present lately, waiting for just the right moment to jump in and ruin my day. I am hoping to start seeing a therapist soon and perhaps I'm finally to a point where I can be truly honest with someone. Long before anyone knew this blog existed, it kind of served that purpose but it certainly doesn't any longer.


dspence said...

I hope that you're able to find a therapist soon. Having a neutral party, one who isn't emotionally tied to the situation, is SO helpful!

Julia Spencer said...

Good for you for getting yourself help. I've been to a therapist before and I found it valuable. I'm hoping you find the support you need there.

Risa said...

Congrats on your first birth. How exciting! I hope you find someone great to talk to. I think it's such a good idea.

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