Sunday, March 10, 2013

I'm not sure it's visible from the outside, but I am having some struggles. I have lots of reasons to be thankful, as I usually do: my first birth as an apprentice, a super successful event I'd been planning for months where the press showed up, we had way more folks that anticipated, & lots of momentum continuing to build, RV dreams now becoming a reality again (in just a few short weeks), lots of feeling like I'm doing what I was always meant to.

I have always been a person who stays busy. Lately though, I stay busy because when I have to focus on my million and one obligations, I can at least quiet down my mind. I find it gets the best of me in the car the most. I thought that being off fertility drugs would help, and it might have, but it feels minuscule. I feel like I carry around this huge weight every day. It's been especially present lately, waiting for just the right moment to jump in and ruin my day. I am hoping to start seeing a therapist soon and perhaps I'm finally to a point where I can be truly honest with someone. Long before anyone knew this blog existed, it kind of served that purpose but it certainly doesn't any longer.

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