Thursday, February 21, 2013

If you've never heard of ICLW (International Comment Leaving Week) you can read more about it here.  I'll be going around, leaving comments on lots of blogs this week and usually, my blog gets a big boost in traffic as well.

There's not much going on on the baby making front in our lives right now, which is actually kind of nice after over 5 years of the majority of our sex happening in the hopes of a baby. I'll admit it's taking me a little longer than I'd hoped to try and transition back to sex for fun but I'm getting there. It's an entire change in mindset and I'm just trying to give myself space to make the change in thinking. I'm still having more pain (presumably from the endo) than I'd ever had before the surgery but unfortunately I'm kind of getting used to it. I am enjoying a month without ridiculous progeseterone symptoms to plague me. I'll likely start early next week and my boobs don't hurt at all which is pretty glorious. I'm researching what my options might be for pain control and may be doing a round of something, preferably anything but Lupron, in the near-ish future. I'm hoping that by taking baby making off the table all together, it will really help me for real put it aside for a while because it's always still kind of "there" in waiting.

I have worked as a birth doula for the last 6ish years, on and off mostly as my schedule allowed for being on-call. I graduated nursing school in May of 2012 and have been fighting with the state board over licensing ever since. I recently started an apprenticeship with a few different local midwives and it's making my schedule that much more hectic. Right now it's all worked out so far, but it kind of feels like only a matter of time before I miss a birth due to scheduling. I recently quit my nanny job where I've worked for over 3 years and am really, really not looking forward to breaking up with a 4 and a half year old. There will be tears. It just wasn't fair to them for me to always be on call and possibly having to miss work. They are very understanding but it didn't make it any easier. I started working part time at a natural parenting retail store that is co-owned by one of the midwives I'm working with and I've really loved it so far. I'm looking forward to all our big changes.

We had plans to move into an RV this April when our lease ran out but then Matt lost his job unexpectedly and we had to start using out "savings" to just pay our current bills. I'm making some money still by taking a doula client every month but that won't get us by for long. When our lease runs out, we'll still be moving but now it looks like it will be to a small apartment where we'll be able to save just about as much money. We have some big debts that we need to start paying off and I'd like to eventually put some money back to build on some land our friends recently purchased.

Right now, my little mantra has been that if my body isn't going to give me a baby, then it's going to do a million other amazing things for me. I've found a place of peace and for the first time in almost a decade, I really feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. (And of course, the running joke in our household is that we're going to move from our 3 bedroom home into a small, studio-ish apartment or RV, take on all this extra responsibility, and then I'll end up spontaneously pregnant with triplets or something.)


Rebecca said...

Hi from ICLW. If only moving into a tiny space was an assurance of fertility!

Teresa F said...

Hi from ICLW! I hope you are back TTC soon!

dspence said...

Your mantra is fantastic. :)

I'm really interested in your doula work and can't wait to hear more!

Risa said...

Your life sounds so exotic compared to mine (and way more exciting). Good luck with your doula experience! Happy ICLW!

Elana said...

So nice to hear about another doula and midwife in the making! I'm about to graduate from nursing school in May and then will take the boards. I hope to start midwifery school soon after. (Here from ICLW)

Amber said...

That sucks to have put yourself through school, only to have trouble with licensing. Hopefully that will all get figureed out soon. I hear ya on the mountain of debt. Ugg. I hope you are able to make a big dent in it soon!

lamentingthelentil said...

It looks like your body is giving you a refreshingly positive outlook on life, a sense of adventure, and a desire to help others. Your body sounds lovely!!

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