Thursday, February 7, 2013

A few days before I was set to ovulate last month, I had an abdominal massage with a local midwife/herbalist/all around amazing lady. I had read up on it and felt like I knew what to expect. I was hopeful that because I really liked this lady, it wouldn't be so weird to have someone rubbing all over my stomach, which is by far the part of my body that gets touched the least. I'm no where near the weight I'd like to be so my stomach is kind of my big source of shame. I just wanted to share my experience with you all.  She started off at my feet, doing some reflexology which felt amazing and helped me to get really relaxed. Then she worked her way up my body to my head, keeping that continuous level of touch throughout the entire massage, so that I always had at least a hand on me. She did some cranio-sacral work with my head, also incredibly relaxing, and did something with my ears that made my lady bits aware that something was going on. As she worked her way to my stomach and lower abdomen, I was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable. Once she really starting working on things down there, I started to feel really crampy. She does a lot of energy work and there was actually a point, when she had her hand in the small of my back and her other hand on where you would imagine my uterus to be, that I thought she was burning me. It was so incredibly intense. I tried to focus on everything loosening up and being open to a pregnancy. She later told me that she had a lot of images of a deep, dark cave and that it was her job to clean out the cobwebs. She also said she felt that it was a very guarded area for me and that I carried around some heavy things in my heart. I had to go to work afterwards and the entire drive there is kind of blurry. I was just in this haze of relaxation. I felt amazing, full of life.

I'd hoped it would have made for a less painful period but that was most certainly not the case. This month was just as bad as last month and I have had a few minutes of intermittent cramps throughout the day to let me know my uterus is still pissed off at me. I've started having some pain with sex, which was one of my biggest fears with finding out I had endometriosis, and I've not been real honest about it in the bedroom. I just suck it up and get through, which is not quite the carefree, passionate sex I'd hoped to have in our "off" time. Due to this most recent development, I've been seriously considering rethinking my stance on the Lupron. Does anyone out there have any recommendations about any alternatives, perhaps a birth control of some sort? I just can't deal with this pain during sex (and freaking running too!) Just gotta do some serious research on options.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've had endo for a few years, and I've recently been considering a three month course of BC and Arimidex, an aromtase inhibitor that's shown to be effective in treating endo. From what I understand, the side effects are less than Lupron.

I'm sorry about the dyspareunia. It's one of the saddest parts of endo for me.

Non Sequitur Chica said...

I only know of Lupron- this is my fourth month on it (3 months prior to surgery for a fibroid/endo and now a one-month dose prior to IVF #1) and it's not fun. Killer headaches, lots of body aches, and a tired feeling 24/7.

Good luck finding something else.

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