Thursday, November 22, 2012

Yesterday was a pretty great day. In the morning, I got a faint positive on a FRER and went about my day optimistically. I bought some answer brand tests and clear blue digital ones and then went to a movie with a friend. The showing we were going to see was sold out so we bought tickets for the next one and decided to go get something to eat real quick. Most places were closed since it was Thanksgiving Eve (is that a thing?) so we ended up in a place where the servers wear very little clothing and plaid push up bras, and she convinced me to pee on a test there (it didn't take much.) It was positive right away and I got even more optimistic. Before I went to bed last night, I decided to pee on a digital test just for the hell of it and to my surprise, it said pregnant. I went to bed on a high, full of ideas about how to tell Matt this morning.

Instead of making Matt french toast and finding some cutesy way of slipping him my pregnancy test, I immediately found bright red blood. I was kind of a mess so I had to explain to Matt through tears why. I had to work waiting tables from 10-5 (which was pretty awful, even if I did make really good money) and all I could think about was how dumb I was for hoping. I was on the verge of tears for most of it. I did get to have an amazing meal with some of my close friends, who really are family to me, and bask in the love that radiates through that house. Those boys make me feel like a celebrity every time I come over, waiting by the front window for me, shouting "Hooray" and hugging me as soon as they see me. It's pretty great.

But yeah, probably just had a chemical pregnancy. Going to try to take it as a good sign. Refilled my Clo.mid prescription and hoping that my body decides to give me the real deal next month.

9 comments:

ousoonerchick said...

I'm sorry babe!

erika said...

I am sorry about the red:( you had several strong positives, so I hope there is a chance this is still not a full-blown period. (((HUGS)))
ICLW#33

erika said...

I am sorry about the red:( you had several strong positives, so I hope there is a chance this is still not a full-blown period. (((HUGS)))
ICLW#33

Bear said...

Visiting from ICLW and wanted to say how sorry I am for your bad news.

Azara said...

I'm sorry to hear this. Good luck as you go forward. Visiting from ICLW.

Jessica Schmitz said...

What a bummer! So sad to hear your news. Visiting from ICLW - #37

Jessah
dreamingofdimples.com

SM said...

Greetings from ICLW! That's such a bummer! Sorry for the false hope!

Puzzle peace said...

visiting from icl. i am so sorry, sometimes hope just hurts. best wishes as you move forward

pregnancyviaivf said...

Hi from ICLW...I had bright red bleeding and clotting and it was a hematoma and my pregnancy was still viable...I would stop taking clomid because may be pregnant

Post a Comment

People and Organizations I like

 
Copyright (c) 2010 for all that we hope for. Design by Wordpress Themes.

Themes Lovers, Download Blogger Templates And Blogger Templates.