Saturday, October 27, 2012

Lately I've been feeling like my life has become this stagnant mess. I frequently find thoughts in my head to support whatever psychological illness I've chosen to diagnose myself with on any given day. Even when I'm not nearing my period, crying comes easily. A commercial, a children's book, even a radio ad, can trigger whatever I'm letting build up inside me. I haven't had much time for solitary release, keeping myself constantly busy or surrounded by people. I guess it has all finally caught up with me. I fought a sore throat last week (& let myself be a tad excited that it was right before my period) that has now turned into a full respiratory funk. All day yesterday and all day today I've just felt wiped out and full of mucous. It's unpleasant to say the least. I'm going to blame my brain fog from this funk for the decision I made while at the pharmacy.

I went to the checkout with pads, chocolate, cough drops, Mentholatum, and a Clo.mid refil. We've been on a break the last few months, not trying, not preventing, just going with the flow of life. While it's been nice, I'll admit I've gotten a little jealous in the ttc blogosphere as everyone else moves forward. Since we can't afford any IUIs right now, the office said it should be fine to take some more Clo.mid. I know, I know, unmonitored is scary and it's probably going to make my endo grow back even faster but you all know by now, rational thoughts have little place in the infertile mind. So, we're gonna do 100mg of Clo.mid this month, took my first dose last night, and hoping it gives me the little euphoric boost it has in the past. Who knows, maybe we'll actually get lucky this time. 


rsativus said...

I hope you feel better. I can't imagine that devil clomid giving me a boost! I bow to your superior biology that takes it in stride.

alie said...

I hope you feel better and that the Clomid does the trick for you this month!

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