When did I hit 60 followers?! That is pretty crazy to me since when I started this blog, it was never with the intention of letting anyone else even know it existed. Once I came out of the infertile closet, it was like the flood gates were open and now that practically every one I see on a regular basis knows about our struggle to make babies, I can't imagine how I ever managed to cope in secret. I do notice that I rely less on the internet community and more on people in my day to day life to complain to. They may wish it were still the other way...
I had my follow-up appointment this last Wednesday and didn't realize how nervous I was about it until I got there and my blood pressure sky rocketed to 149/93 or something close to that. I always run under 120/80 so my doctor knew something was up. He told me that he only found a couple little spots of endo on my right ovary but that on my left side, it was covering my ovary and constricting it. He said there were also adhesions on the back side of that ovary semi-securing it to the back of my pelvic wall. He lasered off everything that he could but explained that he couldn't get 100% of it. He was pushing for me to try all natural for 3 months to get pregnant before starting the Lupron but later agreed that 150mg of Clomid would help boost those chances. It also boosts the chances that I will be accelerating the growth of the endo over the next 3 months too, making it all the more important to agree to the Lupron when the time comes. The information booklet he gave me for the Lupron is pretty intimidating with lovely side effects listed like thinning of the bones that may not be completely reversible, worsening of depression (with possible forgetfulness), and all the other lovely things that come along with menopause like decreased libido, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, etc... You can see why I'm hoping it doesn't get to that point. And while we are talking about my dysfunctional lady parts, I totally thought I was starting like 4 days earlier than expected but now I'm not so sure. I've had a lot of spotting this month already thanks to the surgery and I'm wondering if this isn't just some residual side effects from that because while I would have considered yesterday to be a "light" day in a normal cycle, it was all really old blood and is barely there today. I'm going to cash in my Clomid prescription anyway so at least I will have it on hand when my body decides to make up it's mind.
Also, only two finals stand between me and being done with nursing school (this step anyway.) I have one final on Monday and the last one on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday are jam packed full with getting every single little detail for our re-commitment ceremony together. And then Saturday, the 12th, I will have nursing pinning at 2pm and then high tail it back to my house for more prepping. Hopefully the rain will stay far, far away because we are holding our ceremony and reception outside at a beautiful pavilion just down the road from my house. It is going to be quite the fiesta with a stocked taco bar, tres leches cake, and tons of love. Since we never had a wedding and got our marriage license handed to us through the car window, this is kind of a big deal. I seriously can not wait to tell Matt how much I love him, appreciate him, and reflect on all we've been through so far in front of all our family and friends. I'm pretty sure I am a crazy person for trying to do it all in one day but since many of our friends and family will be driving about 3-4 hours to get here, we needed to make sure they could make it to everything. It's all I think about when I lay down at night and probably part of the reason I am getting such terrible sleep. Our "fo' real" anniversary is on the 17th and since Matt already asked off work, we are thinking about going for a nice canoe ride. I start a few solid months of being on call after that so whatever we decide, I just hope it's a nice little escape for the both of us.
Once I can get school out of the way, I can focus on my summer chock full of births, including my first (hopefully) VBAC doula gig. I am supposed to schedule a time to take the NCLEX but I'm almost positive that no matter when I take it, some one will decide to go into labor when I'm about half way done. I really love my job and can't wait to get some time to put into my website, some brochures, and to prep for the possibility of putting in IVs at some local homebirths when moms test GBS positive. I have a prenatal with an established client today and then three new client consults in the next 2 weeks. It's all pretty exciting.
And now the question is, how in the world do I fill the next hour and a half until I go running with a nursing school classmate? And why the heck am I up this early anyway!? UGH!