Saturday, April 21, 2012

Hey everyone! I'm so glad you're here. You can read our complete story here but I will give you a quick run down. I'm Rochelle and my husband is Matt. We got married May 17th of 2007 and have been trying to have a baby ever since. We did manage to get pregnant in the summer of 2008 but I miscarried right around 12 weeks. We haven't even had the slightest little bit of pregnancy ever since and have been stuck in the unexplained fertility category for that whole time. We have done 8 rounds of Clomid between 50 and 100mg over the last year with no luck. I finally had a laproscopy and hysteroscopy done this last Thursday which uncovered endometriosis between stage 1 and 2. The good news is that my tubes are nice and clear, my uterus is where it is supposed to be, and we finally have some where to start when it comes to getting a little bio baby. I am so very sore today and still having a lot of shoulder pain from all the gas used to distend my abdomen for easier viewing. I probably over did it the last two days with school and then walking around the farmer's market with the hubz this morning.

I graduate nursing school is 21 days! That will also be the day that Matt and I finally say vows to one another in front of our friends and family. I have a few different jobs right now that I will likely keep after graduation so that I don't have to get a nursing job that my heart isn't into. I work as a nanny a few days a week to an adorable little boy who will be 4 this summer. I can't believe how special our bond is and that it has been almost 3 years that I have been watching him. I wait tables on Sundays at Dixie Cafe which is about all the waitressing I could handle right now. And then I  have my true passion work as a birth doula. I know it seems almost masochistic that I'm an infertile who surrounds herself with pregnant women but it's something I just can't imagine ever giving up. My summer is quickly filling up with births and I am excited to watch my business grow.  I will be jumping right back into school in August to finish some classes I will need to get into a program to complete my bachelor's degree in nursing so that I can jump into a nurse midwifery program.

So please stick around and help keep me comfortable over these  next few months where I will probably be on suppression drugs to try and get the endo to calm down a bit before we see what else we can afford to do.

Friday, April 20, 2012

It has been another hectic month with school. I traveled to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for a week for the National Student Nurses Association national convention. I had a blast, got to meet with the ANA president, and it left me feeling rejuvenated. It reminded me that even if I decide not to practice as a nurse, I can still have a lasting impact on the field.

Yesterday I had a laproscopy and hysteroscopy. I am so very sore today and my shoulders are still killing me from pumping my abdomen full of CO2. I'm trying to stay pretty drugged up because when it wears off, I don't want to move. When my dr came to talk to me, I was still really out of it so I don't remember all that he said. I know he said he found endometriosis between stage 1 and 2 but that my tubes were clear. He mentioned oral drugs to my husband so I'm assuming the plan will still be to try Lupron (or something similar) for about 6 months to thrust me into menopause and stop the growth for a little while. They just started offering IUI's and injectibles at my doctor's office so I think that would be what came after months of suppression. My surgery wasn't covered by my insurance so I had to pay $584 to my doctor's office and another $1500 to the hospital itself. We will likely try and get that entirely paid off while baby making gets put on the back burner so that we are starting at $0 when we have to pay for IUI's and other meds. I'm so frustrated with insurance crap right now that I almost wish I didn't have a summer full of births and I could get some nursing job I don't quite care for just to have more coverage.

 But my doula business is flourishing and I am even having to turn down clients so that I don't end up taking on too much. I'm hoping that I will be able to use my nursing license to help the homebirth midwives in the area by starting IVs for them when they have GBS+ moms but that won't be a steady, reliable income. There is also supposedly a birth center being built around here and if that actually happens within the next year, I could see myself dropping my doula business for a while to pursue a job with them gathering skills. I am still planning on jumping into a program to complete my bachelor's after I graduate next month (22 days!) so I will be in school this fall as well. So nothing is slowing down anytime soon.

And I can't wait to actually say vows and show off our love in front of our family and friends only 22 days from now! I feel incredibly unprepared to host a party of this magnetude but I think I will have plenty of help. We are having a taco bar, some sangria, and just a lot of fun! Stay tuned for more.

Friday, April 6, 2012

I'm not doing the whole ICLW thing this month so I figured I'd force myself to carve out some time for some sort of update and since the ninja kiddo is sick (and entertaining himself with majjong on my kindle), now seems perfect.
We are 100% moved to our new, bigger house. I am not a fan of my new half hour commute but oh well, it is a small sacrifice for location. It was also really nice to be so close to the hospital where my last client delivered. After being crazy busy with school, I was at a birth from 2pm Friday until around 3:30am Saturday which just wiped me out. I spent hours massaging this mom's back and my arms were like noodles the next day. That birth definitely factored into my decision to get a king sized bed this last weekend and my sleep has really improved.  This week has been my spring break so I've finally had a little bit of time to unpack and hang things on the walls. My sister in law has been staying with us since Sunday and while my MIL was here dropping her off, she decided she would "help" and unpack a bunch of stuff in my kitchen (while I was at work!) This meant rearranging things the way I wanted them and trying not to freak out about it. The weather has been awful since Sunday, just tons and tons of rain, so we haven't had a chance to really do anything fun (and since I'm usually so busy, I have loved sitting around doing nothing!) I know that being an 18 year old girl who lives in a small country town, she was expecting a little more fun from us but I'm just not an entertainer. She was adopted as a toddler with a terrible history of neglect and abuse and has been dealing with the aftermath of that her whole life so there are a lot of things that make her different from most kids her age. I'm hopeful that her future is bright and we have had some discussion about what we could do to play a bigger role in her life.
On the reproductive front, after our last unsuccessful cycle of Clo.mid, I scheduled my laproscopy for next month. I will be out of town for convention for about a week and then the following week, on the 19th I will have the surgery. I hope the recovery is as easy as they are making it out to be because I have a group presentation to lead the following day that I just can't get out of. It makes me nervous how much school I will be missing in April but I don't have many other options. April and May are the only months I don't have clients due so everything has to be crammed in when it can. I'm just as terrified that they are going to find endometriosis as I am that everything will look fine. My insurance isn't going to cover it either which adds a bit more pressure in my mind. Like if they find nothing, I just spent hundreds of dollars for nothing. I also have this huge (semi-irrational) fear that I will wake up and they'll come tell me I'm an ovary short now or worse yet, I no longer have a uterus at all. We'll see....
Also, I let out one of those huge, crazy laughs upon learning that Aly over at Infertility Overacheivers is pregnant naturally with TWINS! after undergoing IVF to get the 2 boys she does have (the littlest being just 3 months old).....infertility and life continue to be so unpredictable and lovely.

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