It has been a whirlwind couple of days. Arkansas Children's Hospital is such an amazing place and all of the nurses I worked with were incredible. I can't go into specifics (HIPPA and all) but I got to take care of sick kids and babies and really felt like I was in my groove. I tried to keep myself sheltered from the children that are pretty much living there abandoned but just hearing my classmates speak about it really took it's toll on me. It just breaks my heart that there are kids there whose parents either can't or won't take care of them because of their illness so they just stay in the hospital until a medically appropriate home can be found for them. It was all I could do to hold myself together long enough to get back to the hotel room but once I called and talked to the hubz, the flood gates broke open. It was an absolutely overwhelming experience but I'm so glad I got that opportunity.
I got back late Sunday night, printed out some homework, and immediately went to bed. I had to be at the hospital up here at 6:45 yesterday morning (as well as today) to spend some time in the newborn nursery. I really didn't expect it to be that difficult. I'm so used to holding little babies at this point and was looking forward to it. But then that stupid infertility crept in. I held so many sweet little newborns and choked back tears on multiple occasions as I realized how unlikely it is that I'll ever stare at a little face like theirs and try to figure out who they look more like. I'd stare at their little noses and my heart would just drop as I thought about never arguing if it was my nose or the hubz. It has taken a lot out of me and I wish that my day off from lecture tomorrow really meant a day off. I was forced to watch a circumcision as well which is way outside my comfort zone and it definitely solidified my views on the subject. Next week I'm in the postpartum section so I'm hoping I am a little less challenged there as far as my beliefs go and can get some good education time in.
I have to get some studying done tonight as well as watch a movie about Florence Nightingale and make a discussion board post about it. Tomorrow is catching up with a friend, speaking at the Student Nurses meeting at noon, more studying, and then some nanny time. And Thursday is a burn workshop which I am really not looking forward to and more studying. Friday is test day and then hopefully a little bit of relaxation Saturday.
Still looking for a new home but feeling closer every day.