Thursday, June 9, 2011

I have excuses why I haven't been writing. I have excuses for why I'm so unhappy, why I'm so overweight, why I have no energy to put into changing things, and the list goes on and on. I am so very good at coming up with excuses lately. Sometimes they're just flat out lies I'm using to try and rationalize things to myself.

We're both still unmedicated, still far too broke at the moment to even begin to fathom being able to afford it anytime soon, and not leaning on each other any more than we had been prior to the ceiling caving in, maybe even less.

We obviously didn't go for that last round of clomid last month. To be honest, right now, I can't imagine adding a baby to this uncertainty and worried about it up until my period showed up yesterday. How did we get to this point and how do we find our way out? It's going to be a verge of tears kind of day.

And to make my mood even less acceptable, it's Matt's 25th birthday. I'll pull myself out somehow.


Aly said...

Hey Girl,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. I was thinking about you the other night so I'm super glad you updated. Take care!! I hope things get a TON better. Oh and happy b-day to the hubs.

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