Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A part of it is relief, but mostly, just disappointment.

The nurse finally called back and didn't give me specifics (although I plan on going by there to see if I can get my own copy of the results) but said that everything fell well within the normal range. I was speechless. I held back tears. Now I feel guilty for having hoped something would be off. Matt is pretty shocked too. And I'm pretty sure I'll never get him to quit smoking now.

They called in 3 months of Clomid and said to call back if I'm not pregnant after that. I'm not even sure I'll pick it up, but I'm most definitely not planning on taking it...at least I don't think I am. I can tell Matt is really sitting over there thinking about how our life would be if I had a baby (or two) in December and went back to school with a 4 week old to finish out my last semester of school. Jeeze,  how would that affect a breastfeeding relationship!?! Ugh. This is even more difficult than not knowing.

I'm off for some quality friend time after another jam packed day in the OR. I started my first ever IV (which I got of my first try) in the chubby hand of a little girl and saw how fun the OR can be when you're in there with a great team and a great (and hilarious) doctor (who was also a great teacher) who have all worked together for so long that it was like a family. I really wish I could have just stayed in there for the rest of the semester.


Amanda said...

hi. i don't know you - and you don't know me. i've been reading your blog for a few months now. i am curious if you have a page on here that details your history. i had trouble conceiving, went on a diabetic diet (I have PCOS & w/ that a severe intolerance to insulin). The diet corrected alot of things, but I was still unable to conceive. I was put on Clomid and was pregnant w/i 3 months - that baby (Rowan) was lost to m/c at 12.5 wks. 7 months later (after 2 months on Clomid) I was pregnant again, this time it lasted until 19 wks and my son, Levi, was born and died - due to PPROM (incompetent cervix). 6 months later (after one round w/ Clomid) I fell pregnant again w/ my current womb dweller. I had a cerclage placed on Jan 31st and am currently 19.5 wks preggo. Anyhow, all that info to say that I fully believe in Clomid & I ask about your history b/c everyone is different, but it totally worked for me/us. And I think it's been helpful to many who have been told that they may never conceive. So, I just wanted to offer some hope, and encouragement. I hope I've not upset you. Feel free to just read this and delete if you want. :0) Peace.

Amanda said...

So glad to hear everything is normal! What a relief :) Tough decision about the clomid...I'm curious though, why do you not want to try it? No judgement at all, just wondering!

Stephanie said...

It never ceases to amaze me how much of our time as women is spent waiting - waiting for AF, waiting to test, waiting to see if the baby's going to stick, waiting until next month to try again, waiting until the timing's better. I hope that everything works out the way you want it to in the end!

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