Friday, November 12, 2010

Blog Button NBF

Aly over at Infertility Overachievers is featuring me today on her New Blog Friday! So here's a big hello to everyone making their way over from Aly's amazing blog. You already know a little bit about me and my blog and I'd hate to be repetitive so instead I'll tell you a little bit about the present day.

I am almost done with my first semester of nursing school, meaning I am almost a fourth of the way done. I had a ton of doubts in the first few weeks as to this being my path and if I hadn't been so financially invested, I might not have stuck it out. See, my brain works on this all natural, hippie frequency and that just hasn't meshed well with Western medicine in the past. There are still days where I have to just bite my tongue and compromise a little bit of my soul to get through the day, but there much more far and few between. Being in the clinical setting has shown me a new side of myself that makes me certain that my life is on the right path right now.

Because of aforementioned school, I have become an awful friend, wife, and blogger. I usually feel pretty stretched thin since I am also a nanny and work as a waitress on Sundays. My husband doesn't feel like we get to spend enough time together, and when we are together I am generally doing school work, or like right now have the computer in my lap, oblivious to the outside world. It's put a huge strain on our relationship and my husband makes sure to let me know all the time. We've worked so hard just to make it this far that divorce is no where on my radar (and most of the time, I'm so busy with my full life that I don't notice when things are getting bad), but it seems to be my husband's go-to solution at the time. Since the marital problems have taken over our lives right now, baby-making isn't really on the menu. I can't believe we've had 4 years of unprotected sex and nada (including those two months of Clomid). There will be months where things are awesome and we'll have all the right timing, but I've pretty much lost hope that I'll ever conceive again on my own. If our marriage makes it through nursing school, I get the feeling we'll be back on the adoption pathway, but for now, there is a hiatus. And for once, I'm ok with that.

Also, what are your weekend plans? I was thinking early morning hike with my puppy Saturday, followed by babysitting at a dinner party, Dixie Cafe Sunday morning, and clinical homework Sunday night. It'll be gone before we know it.

Please feel free to stick around and watch the drama unfold, and I would love it if you'd stay long enough to see me become a mother! Thanks for visiting!


Awise said...

I just graduated nursing school in May & understand how hard it is to manage everything & everyone. I often felt like I neglected my husband, family, & friends, but it was all worth it. I feel like I can connect with your story because we are so similar. It was great to read your story, thanks for sharing =)

Moe said...

Welcome to the bloggy family ;)

Lora said...

Nursing school is TOUGH. Trust me, I know. When I went through it though I was recently divorced with two young kids and back living with my mom. Not my fondest memories. BUT! It was totally worth it to stick it out till the end, especially if you know you want to go the nurse-midwife route. I gave birth to our last child at home with a midwife, by the way, and theres a cool link on my blog to a post and video about it under About the Family, if you want to check it out.

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