Today is going to be a rough day for some people very dear to me (and selfishly, for me too). Friends of one of the most important ladies in my life had a sweet baby girl on Saturday. Emma Grace was born with anencephaly which basically means that the back her skull never developed, and subsequently her brain never developed fully. Her condition was known ahead of time, but everyone was still hoping and praying for a miracle. She passed away after about 36 hours of love and goodbyes. Her wake is this evening and I am going to go show my support for this amazing family. I helped the momma out once while she was on bed rest in early pregnancy and fell in love with their family instantly. My heart is breaking for them. Their faith and strength through this entire journey amazes and humbles me to the core. I found a piece of jewelry that I bought for Emma's mommy and I can't wait for it to come in the mail. I know it will mean a lot to her.
I feel selfish for thinking about how hard today is going to be on me. Any time someone brings up loss, whether is be miscarriage, still birth, or just baby loss in general, the tears flow very easily. I still grieve every single day for the baby that I won't ever get a chance to parent. It's that pain that makes me feel a connection with every other woman out there who has had to lose a baby, no matter when it happened. It's been almost 2 years and it's still never far from my mind.
It's just going to be tough. I need to pull my strength together.