Thursday, March 18, 2010

Both our computers decided to die during the same week so my blof got neglected. I'm going to do my best not to filter my blog despite knowing people have actual starting reading it. This is all being updated from my phone so I'm sorry for the spelling errors.

Now where to start...nursing school application process is going smoothly so far. I take my entrance test on April 21st which means I better start reviewing basic algrebra really soon. Microbiology is still kicking my butt. I have a test tomorrow and I need to make at least an 80 to even have a shot at getting a B. Its upsetting that this will tarnish my perfect 4.0, but this just doesn't click for me the way anatomy and physiology did.

On the baby front, we're working hard this month. The timing would be great and would leave me the option to not miss any school. My body worked perfectly this month (and waited on me to get back fromTexas!) and our timing was perfect so all appendages are being crossed and the next few weeks will be anxious ones. We know we'd have to work super hard to manage school and a baby, but it is what my heart so badly wants. And its what I need to heal these wounds so bring it on. I've always liked a challenge. I will definitely be bugging Matt a lot more about going ahead in the foster/adopt process if these next 2 months are a bust.

I ended up with an awful tooth infection last week whic luckily fell right when I already had a dentist appointment. He gave me pain pills and antibiotics and I will go back the 29th to get those three teeth pulled. I will get indentions done that day too and maybe even before Wanda's wedding, I'll have all new top teeth. And seeing two lines wouldn't put that on hold at all!

Last weekend, I went to Texas for Wanda's bachelorette party. I was apprehensive at first since I had been having a rough time around pregnant ladies and one of our friends is expecting in September and I didn't really know the other girls that were going. I mostly went because of how much I miss Wanda and told myself that it was all for her that weekend. We met in Van Buren where I left my car and stayed that night at Wanda's mom's house. That night we stayed up way too late giggling like 13 year olds and talking about sex. The next day we drove to Frisco and went to the spa. I got my first predicure and also got my legs waxed (ouch!). We drove to Dallas later that day and met up with the guys shortly, before Kristal, Wanda, and I went to the mall. Wanda told me to pack lightly and I took her so seriously that I forgot to bring pants. That's why we went to the mall, so I'd have pants to wear that night. We checked into our hotel and dressed for the evening. Wanda wore the smallest thing you could still call a dress with thigh high boots so she looked super hot! We went to this 3 story club in downtown Dallas and stayed until they closed. I hadn't planned on drinking but decided I wanted to, in the hopes that its the last chance I get for a long time. Wanda and I did a little bit of dancing and she did this hilarious scavenger hunt while we were there too. Lots of hilarious, incriminating pictures were taken and I ended up having a blast. I wish I lived closer to her because I miss her constantly. Only 3 more weeks until her wedding when I get to see her again. I couldn't be happier for her. She found such a great guy and I know they will be very happy together.

This past Monday was a super crappy day. First, Matt lost his job at Barnes and Noble because he checked himself out on his own register. Then, I got out to my car and realized I had locked my keys inside so I had to call pop-a-lock. After that, I had to help 3 very sad girls pack to go back into foster care which left me both heartbroken and hopeful for them. Luckily, the week got better from there. Tuesday I had a blast playing with my ninja toddler all day and yesterday, school was a breeze and I got a lot of studying done. Today, Matt got a job at a local place called Old Tyme Tutors. It's only a few hours a week so he's still looking for another job, but I am just soo proud of him for being so on the ball. Our relationship tends to suffer when he's unemployed so I am glad to be able to avoid that.

I think that brings me up to date. Right now I am waiting on the ninja toddler to wake up from his nap so he can eat lunch and we can go to the park. I will be meeting Lisa there to catch up and visit so I want him to wake up soon!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

This month is all about being proactive. It's about taking action.

We're cleaning up our cupboards. Cutting out the processed junk along with almost all our dairy and meat as well. Matt ate completely vegan when he was in Prague and has expressed interest in eating that way again. I would never in a million years argue with my husband about healthier eating choices since it's generally the other way around. We are both considered to be obese and are both aware of our severe emotional attachment to food. We have already made healthier choices like only eating out once ever other week pr so, and I have started cooking much healthier meals through substitution. We both have a hard core addiction to sugar which is made apparent through all the sweet baking I do (I made fudge last week) and by all the soda that Matt likes. I think he is slowly coming around to a more healthy lifestyle and it is making me absolutely giddy. So far the plan is to continue slowly phasing things out in exchange for substitutes. We are going to focus mostly on fresh foods and try to limit our carb and soy intake. It's not all about weight loss either. It's about not being a participant in this declining food industry, about making a conscious effort to stop being a mindless consumer. Once the farmer's markets in the area start back up, we'll probably have a much wider range of food available to us.

We also decided that as long as the weather allows, each Saturday we will take our dog out on one of the local trails. We have a wide variety of trails to choose from with many different lengths and intensities. And our dog will absolutely love us for this. When I lived up here alone, Sam and I went on hikes together all the time because it was all that kept my sanity. I walk a few miles every day at work (3days/week) so hopefully this added bit will be just the boost I need.

Yesterday was also the start of a new cycle, another fresh start, and one more cycle closer to motherhood. No PMS this month and no depressed funk to have to crawl out of. I feel like I have seen real results with my positive affirmations. It's like an absolutely free drug, even if it is just a placebo effect. If I had health insurance, I would most likely be put on a mood stabilizer, and then they'd just go down the list I've taken in the past and pick one of many. But since that isn't an option, I found this other avenue to control my own emotions. I slip from time to time but as soon I really have a chance to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am in control of my own emotions and I am the one who decides what mood I will be in. So far, so good. I am trying to use it to manifest other great things in my life as well, like babies, and the career path/school stuff I've got going on as well. Mostly BABIES. Hoping to be more proactive in that department this month as well. And very, very excited and hopeful about it. Isn't it March that comes in like a lion and out like a lamb?

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